My grandma suffered another stroke on Tuesday February 6th, 2007. It is different then her first stroke in that it is bleeding. The doctor took her off her blood thinners (which was prescribed because her first stroke was a clot). Hospice has taken over her care. She is at home, awake, and recognizes everyone, which is good. My mom signed all the paperwork for DNR, I know that was hard for her, but it is what grandma wants (she stated it in her living will). This sucks! I have cried a lot this week and no one really knows when she may go. It could be today it could be six months from now.....I hate crying. It makes me feel out of control and that scares me completely.
I am angry with god. Why must she suffer? What lesson are we meant to learn? Why must we learn it?
I am angry with my brother. I haven't seen him since July of 2005. He has been in and out of jail and writes us letters to make us feel guilty. He doesn't even know that our grandma had her first stroke, let alone this recent one.
I am angry with my cousin, who our grandma raised for most of his life. She supported him in school and what does he do? He dropps out just shy of graduating and after taking out a large student loan. My grandma co-signed for that loan and he defaulted. She has had to pay for his stupidity. He has not seen her since before she had the stroke and rarely calls.
Overall, I want someone to blame, but unfortunetly there is no one. I can't solve this problem, this situation and that makes me the angriest of all.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Wow it has been a loonnngg time!
I haven't posted in quite awhile. I guess I have been too busy or too lazy to write something down. (A little of both I wager). I guess I'll just go throught the basics of what has been going on:
My Grandma is at home and has 24hour care (which costs over $7000 biweekly!!!!) It all out of pocket. She seems okay, But she barely attempts to use her right arm any more, she doesn't even attempt to paint. I can actually see her decline. She just turned 81 in January. I don't know if she'll make it to 82.
My mom still is the primary caregiver to my grandma. She goes over to her house at 7:00am to give my grandma her shot and makes sure that she takes her pills (a feat in itself). My mom then drive the 20 some odd miles to work. After work she returns to my grandmothers house (around 4:00pm) to give her her evening shot and pills. (For $7000, you'd think that the in-home care would give medication, NOPE!) Mom's brothers and sister barely visit and/or help with the care of my grandma. (Nice kids, eh)
I still work in the same craptastic government job as I always have......errrr. I have put in tons of applications for jobs in Ohio and Arizona, but haven't heard anything yet.
As far as conlangs go, I haven't done much lately. I sort of scrapped my old one and am now trying to revamp it....we'll see how that goes.
Other then that things have stayed relatively the same.
My Grandma is at home and has 24hour care (which costs over $7000 biweekly!!!!) It all out of pocket. She seems okay, But she barely attempts to use her right arm any more, she doesn't even attempt to paint. I can actually see her decline. She just turned 81 in January. I don't know if she'll make it to 82.
My mom still is the primary caregiver to my grandma. She goes over to her house at 7:00am to give my grandma her shot and makes sure that she takes her pills (a feat in itself). My mom then drive the 20 some odd miles to work. After work she returns to my grandmothers house (around 4:00pm) to give her her evening shot and pills. (For $7000, you'd think that the in-home care would give medication, NOPE!) Mom's brothers and sister barely visit and/or help with the care of my grandma. (Nice kids, eh)
I still work in the same craptastic government job as I always have......errrr. I have put in tons of applications for jobs in Ohio and Arizona, but haven't heard anything yet.
As far as conlangs go, I haven't done much lately. I sort of scrapped my old one and am now trying to revamp it....we'll see how that goes.
Other then that things have stayed relatively the same.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Changes
I am changing Namaran. I will:
- Make the grammar more regular (Like a IAL but not quite)
- Make it sound more French and less Russian
- And other things I can't think of right now.....
I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Long time no post
I haven't posted in awhile, because nothing exciting has happened. But I am still here....maybe I'll have something tomorrow!?!?
Friday, October 20, 2006
2007Honda Civic EX
Yep, got it last night! Really cool car with all the bells and whistles! Fun to drive and good on gas! Not much else to say but WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
New Car!
I am getting a brand new car (Honda Civic). I researched high and low to figure out which one to get , and hopefully I made a good decision. I wanted a car that was reliable, dependable and good on gas. So I think I picked well. I went through my bank and have a guy searching for me as we speak! I am soooo excited! Well that's all for now, its about time for lunch so tootle loo!
Monday, October 16, 2006
My Weekend
Well, the weekend is over and it is back to work......yuk. My weekend pretty much sucked because I had the flu and I was miserable from Friday evening until now (Although I still don't feel 100%) I spent most of the weekend driving around trying to help my mom find a new dining room table....which we didn't. But I guess that is better then sitting at home doing nothing. I saw my grandma twice, once on saturday and once on Sunday. Saturday she was weak and sort of pissed off, My sister didn't help by ordering her around and my poor mom was on the verge. On the verge of what? At this point even I don't know. Sunday was better, I tried to explain to her what the situation was (i.e. Hospice, Insurance, yada yada yada.) and she seemed to understand. After that I felt that we needed to do something to get us out of our rutt, so we went to the store and bought all of the ingrediants to make a good turkey dinner. It was fun cooking with my sister and mom. I think it helped us take our minds of what was going on in our lives. We also played rummy and I LOST big time. Mom kicked all of our asses!
Today I got a phone call from my best friend (she lives in Ohio). Her grandmother is in the same boat as my grandma (she has heart problems and was recently moved from her home to Hospice.) We talked for awhile until I started to cry and then I told her that I did't want to talk about it anymore this morning. She agreed and we talked about the weather in Ohio, our jobs and other non-sad sort of things. She really is a great friend. I don't know what I'd do without her.
I just noticed how long this post is so I think I will signoff, so as they say in Namaran:
Dabor Den!! (Good Day!)
Today I got a phone call from my best friend (she lives in Ohio). Her grandmother is in the same boat as my grandma (she has heart problems and was recently moved from her home to Hospice.) We talked for awhile until I started to cry and then I told her that I did't want to talk about it anymore this morning. She agreed and we talked about the weather in Ohio, our jobs and other non-sad sort of things. She really is a great friend. I don't know what I'd do without her.
I just noticed how long this post is so I think I will signoff, so as they say in Namaran:
Dabor Den!! (Good Day!)
Friday, October 13, 2006
Namaran Grammar-Book?
Well sort of. I used the layout and examples of LERNU.com's Consise Grammar and mirrored it into my own language Namaran. I like it. And since Namaran is based somewhat on Esperanto, I think it helped. I still need to add more stuff but so far so good! Here it is! Tell me what you think.
Well that's all for now....I probally won't post on the weekends but I will "see" y'all Monday!
Oh and here is "Happy Columbus Day" in Namaran. (Any day I get to take off of work is a good day!)
Srek Kolumbus Den!
Well that's all for now....I probally won't post on the weekends but I will "see" y'all Monday!
Oh and here is "Happy Columbus Day" in Namaran. (Any day I get to take off of work is a good day!)
Srek Kolumbus Den!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
My Grandmother
I got bad/good news today about my Grandma. Anyways here is a little back story....
My grandma had a massive stroke about a a year ago. It robbed her of her ability to speak and the use of her arm. She can no longer effectively communicate and she can no longer paint and draw (Something she was really good at and loved to do). Since the stroke she has been in and out of rehab and does not seem to be getting better. Around the beginning of last month she got sick and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure (an enlarged heart due to fluid build-up). She is dying.
Of the few words she can say clearly, she questions why this happened to her, what did she do to deserve this, she questions God. So do I.
My grandma wants to go home and the good news is that they (the insurance company and doctors) will let her. Hospice came and evaluated her today and accepted her into their "program" (for lack of a better word). The bad thing is that they basically believe she has only six months left and thereefor she met their criteria.
I don't know how to deal with this information. What do I do? What do I say? How will my mom cope? How will I cope? I know that my grandma is scared but how can I comfort her? THese questions swirl around my mind all day.....I wish I had someone to talk to.
My grandma had a massive stroke about a a year ago. It robbed her of her ability to speak and the use of her arm. She can no longer effectively communicate and she can no longer paint and draw (Something she was really good at and loved to do). Since the stroke she has been in and out of rehab and does not seem to be getting better. Around the beginning of last month she got sick and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure (an enlarged heart due to fluid build-up). She is dying.
Of the few words she can say clearly, she questions why this happened to her, what did she do to deserve this, she questions God. So do I.
My grandma wants to go home and the good news is that they (the insurance company and doctors) will let her. Hospice came and evaluated her today and accepted her into their "program" (for lack of a better word). The bad thing is that they basically believe she has only six months left and thereefor she met their criteria.
I don't know how to deal with this information. What do I do? What do I say? How will my mom cope? How will I cope? I know that my grandma is scared but how can I comfort her? THese questions swirl around my mind all day.....I wish I had someone to talk to.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Namaran
Namaran Phonology (in X-SAMPA for easy reading and understanding.):
Letter X-SAMPA Example (Sorry about the alignment, If you have any questions just post a comment and I'll try to answer it.)
Aa A father
Áá Ai ice
Bb b bat
Dd d dog
Ee* E met
Éé Ei say
Ff f fig
Gg g go
Ii i feet
Jj Z vision
Kk k kite
Ll l life
Mm m mat
Nn n net
Oo O hotel
Pp p pat
Rr r\ red
Ss s sat
Shsh S ship
Tt t top
Vv v value
Zz z zero
*Pronounced like ay in say when at the beginning and/or end of any given word.
Phonological Constraints:
Namaran syllables are (C)(C)V(C)
Any consonant can begin a syllable. The permitted initial consonant clusters are:
- s + any voiceless plosive, nasal, liquid (sp, st, sk, sm, sn, sl, and sr)
- plosive or fricative + liquid (pr, pl, br, bl, tr, tl, dr, dl, kr, kl, gr, gl, fr, fl, vr, vl, sr, sl, zr, zl, shr, shl, jr, jl)
- Any nasal + r (mr, nr)The permissible final consonants are any plosive, nasal, liquid and voiced fricative (p, b, t, d, k, g, m, n, r, l, v, z, and j)
Stress
Namaran words are lightly stressed on the final syllable. However the stress may be so light that it is barely discerned by non-native speakers or may not be recognized at all.
Elision
In Namaran, elision refers to the suppression of a final unstressed vowel immediately before another word beginning with a vowel. The term also refers to the orthographic convention by which the deletion of a vowel is reflected in writing, and indicated with an apostrophe. This most often occurs between adjectives, nouns and adverbs.
Letter X-SAMPA Example (Sorry about the alignment, If you have any questions just post a comment and I'll try to answer it.)
Aa A father
Áá Ai ice
Bb b bat
Dd d dog
Ee* E met
Éé Ei say
Ff f fig
Gg g go
Ii i feet
Jj Z vision
Kk k kite
Ll l life
Mm m mat
Nn n net
Oo O hotel
Pp p pat
Rr r\ red
Ss s sat
Shsh S ship
Tt t top
Vv v value
Zz z zero
*Pronounced like ay in say when at the beginning and/or end of any given word.
Phonological Constraints:
Namaran syllables are (C)(C)V(C)
Any consonant can begin a syllable. The permitted initial consonant clusters are:
- s + any voiceless plosive, nasal, liquid (sp, st, sk, sm, sn, sl, and sr)
- plosive or fricative + liquid (pr, pl, br, bl, tr, tl, dr, dl, kr, kl, gr, gl, fr, fl, vr, vl, sr, sl, zr, zl, shr, shl, jr, jl)
- Any nasal + r (mr, nr)The permissible final consonants are any plosive, nasal, liquid and voiced fricative (p, b, t, d, k, g, m, n, r, l, v, z, and j)
Stress
Namaran words are lightly stressed on the final syllable. However the stress may be so light that it is barely discerned by non-native speakers or may not be recognized at all.
Elision
In Namaran, elision refers to the suppression of a final unstressed vowel immediately before another word beginning with a vowel. The term also refers to the orthographic convention by which the deletion of a vowel is reflected in writing, and indicated with an apostrophe. This most often occurs between adjectives, nouns and adverbs.
Ah...my first post. Let's see, how about a little information about myself....
My name is not Kezren, (and no I will not tell you my real name) I am 28 years old, just got my my Master's degree in Business Management and I love creating Languages, worlds and writing systems...strange I know. I own a 8yr old terrier mix dog named Daisey and hope to one day to own horses, right now I can't afford to. Well that's it for me, lets talk about Namaran.
My main conlang is called Namaran and is set in my conworld of Namar. Namaran is an IndoEuropean language based largly on German, Macedonian, Italian and Esperanto. The language is coming along nicely (at least to me) and I have most of my grammar and phonological rules solidified. Now I just have to work on the lexicon (I think that is the right word) and build my vocabulary.
The script is based on Arabic and Braille. I'll have some examples later, as I am not near my scanner or my notes. More to come later....I hope to enjoy future conversations with those with similar interests.
My name is not Kezren, (and no I will not tell you my real name) I am 28 years old, just got my my Master's degree in Business Management and I love creating Languages, worlds and writing systems...strange I know. I own a 8yr old terrier mix dog named Daisey and hope to one day to own horses, right now I can't afford to. Well that's it for me, lets talk about Namaran.
My main conlang is called Namaran and is set in my conworld of Namar. Namaran is an IndoEuropean language based largly on German, Macedonian, Italian and Esperanto. The language is coming along nicely (at least to me) and I have most of my grammar and phonological rules solidified. Now I just have to work on the lexicon (I think that is the right word) and build my vocabulary.
The script is based on Arabic and Braille. I'll have some examples later, as I am not near my scanner or my notes. More to come later....I hope to enjoy future conversations with those with similar interests.
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